Caffeinated Randomness: It's So Hard To Say Goodbye...

Was it just me or was NBC on their game last night? I watched all four comedies (Community, Parks and Recreation, The Office and 30 Rock) and all were absolutely hilarious. I've have never seen or heard a better Batman (the Christian Bale version) impersonation in my life than on Community last night. Made the entire episode for me. But my favorite part of the night had to be on The Office when Darryl was trying to describe (unsuccessfully) the different Halloween characters his co-workers had dressed up as ("I asked for a list"). And Kelly was dressed up as Lelu from The Fifth Element! Shoutout to my dad's favorite movie!! And how about Pam helping The Nard Dog out with receptionist Erin? I think that might be an adorable pairing if it ever comes to fruition.

But enough about people who don't actually exist.

My eye is much much better. No more bacterial ulcer. I was a good girl and took my anti-bacterial eye drops every three hours like a champ. I'm thinking tomorrow I'll be brave enough to put contacts back in my eyes again. This is the longest I've been (since junior high) without my contacts. Eighteen years of wearing contacts and never once did they cause a problem until last week, and now I'm scared. But I hate wearing glasses so I will overcome.

My bff and her daughter got the H1N1 virus this week. So far it seems to be a fairly mild case, both have had relatively low fevers and Addie is already on the mend. That is wonderful because Addie has asthma and they were worried about pneumonia developing. It seems like that won't be the case, praise the Lord.

Sometimes I think Facebook is just a really big experiment in how large groups of people handle change. This past week good old FB rolled out a new feed and people went absolutely nuts. The psychology/sociology nerd inside of me finds this stuff fascinating. Was it really that big of a deal? It's change people! Deal.

My aunt Terri is trying to get my mom on Facebook. A lot of my relatives have already joined, from my 15 year old cousin to my 60 something year old great aunt. But my mom would be hilarious on there, she who does not know how to access the internet without supervision. She who works on a computer everyday at work but knows precious little outside of the quickbooks program she works with. But since Facebook has become the best way to keep with our large extended family, she may not have a choice. How else is she going to know all about marching band competitions and that half the family is in love with sushi and that one of my cousins has lost 12 lbs (way to go Tiffany!)?

Oh, and it looks like this is the last Caffeinated Randomness. Andrea just announced it is over. Cue the Boyz II Men song and then head on over to Andrea's for the last drops of Caffeinated Randomness goodness before it's too late.

Random Dozen #9

So I'm not much for small talk this morning so let's get straight to the q&a.

1. Tell me something about your favorite teacher.

Hmm. First of all I'm trying to think which of my teachers is my favorite teacher. And I'm stumped. At first I thought of Mrs. Beavers, my K4 and 1st grade teacher. Then I thought, that's peaking pretty early with favorite teachers, my first teacher ever, and then I thought about my middle school yearbook advisor, Mrs. Graham. I really liked her. She was awesome. Then I remembered my high school biology teacher Coach Rickard, and I have to say he was my favorite. One thing to tell you is that he wasn't a coach anymore by the time I was in his class. But he had been so the name stuck. I dissected a fetal pig in his class too. And we named him Forrest. Which was before Forrest Gump ever came out just so you know.

2. Tell me about one pivotal moment in your life.

There are lots of moments in my life that didn't seem pivotal at the time but looking back they really were. I think that first week of college was one of those times. It was the first time I was without parental supervision and no one could make me do anything I didn't want to do. It was a make or break time for me. I remember sitting in my room with my suite mates discussing what to get involved in on campus and I told them I really wanted to get involved at the Baptist Student Union. We all decided to do so and that started me on a path of seeking God's will for my life and living for Him (even though I had been involved in church all my life, making that decision on my own without my parents influencing me was huge). It really set the path for my early adulthood and I am so thankful that I made that choice that very first week of school.

3. About favorite colors--a lot of people will ask you what it is, but I want to know why it is. What feeling or memory does it evoke?

Red is my favorite color and I think it's just because I think it's pretty. And I look really good in red. I'm trying to think of a feeling it evokes and really I can't think of one that makes it be my favorite color. It's just pretty. Does that make me boring? Weird? All of the above?

4. What's a sure sign that you're getting older?

Hurting your back in a dressing room for no apparent reason except trying on a pair of pants? Could that be? Because a couple of weeks ago I sure thought so.

5. Please don't sermonize, but Halloween--is it a yes or no for you?

Halloween for me is chocolate covered marshmallow pumpkins and It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and my best friend's daughter dressed up like a princess. Growing up we weren't allowed to go Trick-or-Treating and we usually had some sort of "Hallelujah Night" Carnival at church instead. And dressing up choices were limited to bible characters. When I was in junior high we were finally allowed to go trick-or-treating around my cousin's neighborhood. We had a blast. My cousin donned several different masks and went around the block five or six times. He definitely won the prize for most candy that night. So I guess it's kinda yes for me. But ghosts and goblins and the devil and the undead- that's not for me. Unless it is limited to Disney's Halloween Treat, and then all bets are off.

6. What's your favorite musical?

I've never seen it but I am absolutely in love with the soundtrack- Wicked. And one day I will see it and it will be fabulous. Yes indeed.

7. Are you more of a city mouse or country mouse?

I am going to go with small town mouse. Or perhaps suburban mouse. Because having an IKEA in driving distance alongside a Chick-fil-a and Target are kind of a nice thought, without all the crazy traffic. Mice hate traffic.

8. Did you know that it is possible, for a small fee, to name a real star after someone? (It's true! Google it!) If someone were to name a star for you, would you appreciate it for its whimsy and romance, or would you say, "Are you kidding me? For $19.95 we could have gone to the movie and actually bought popcorn."

Depends on the person, my relationship to them, the sense of humor or heart put into it and my mood at the time. These variables make it impossible to answer this accurately. I'm going to say appreciate it, but I am holding the option of changing my mind if some strange stalker decides to do such a thing.


9. What's the craziest thing you've ever been doing and texted during it? I only thought of this b/c I was about to try to text during my walking video but I didn't.

I am really boring so the craziest thing I've ever been doing and texted during it is work. Because perhaps we're not allowed to text at work. Ahem.

10. "It's not a party unless _______."

There is food. Seriously. Why would you even have a party without food?

11. When you're stuck in traffic or a waiting room, what do you do to pass the time? PS: There are no magazines available.

Stuck in traffic I'm probably going to be jamming out to some really good music and not really caring about anything else, but not having that luxury in a waiting room I probably would write a blog post in my head or make to do lists.

12. If you weren't yourself, would you be friends with you?

Yes. In fact I would probably be best friends with me because who else is going to get me like I do?

There's more random dozen at Linda's. Go check it out!

Remembering Keith and Cheeto

Most of you haven't been following my blog from the beginning, but last fall I wrote a bit about a man named Keith and his cute dog Cheeto. He was homeless. My co-workers and I became friends with him. He and his dog stole our hearts and much of the fall and winter they were a fixture around the store, visiting for a bit to get out of the cold. Keith became ill and being a veteran was admitted to the Veteran's hospital here in town last spring. This summer he decided to move back to Arizona to be with family. We found out on Friday that he passed away this past week. This post was published a year ago today, in which I wrote about meeting him. He changed my life. I won't be the same. Surely, I can change....


Compassion has never been a strength of mine. Ooh, bad bad Christian. But the truth is I'm not always real merciful by nature. The sad part is a lot of the time when I've lacked compassion I couldn't care less. I think they call it self-absorbed.

I've been challenged lately to change. It's been a combination of things really, but there's no mistaking the feelings of discomfort that come with conviction. I felt it rising like an uncomfortable heat while I read Crazy Love. Then it trickled out in tears and sadness while watching a Sara Groves documentary about her trips to Louisiana and Rwanda. My mind started to ponder the hurts, injustices and sadness in this world. This world I've been too self-absorbed to notice.

There's a homeless man I keep running into around town. He looks to be in his early fifties, but it's hard to tell. His face is weathered, and his frame slim and wiry. The first time I saw him was outside of the EZ mart by my workplace. He was standing outside by the trash can and he had this adorable dog with him. I love animals and his sweet mutt captured my attention with his wiry white and black coat and sweet face. He was jumping up and down in front of the his master and just looked happy to have a companion. The man had him on a makeshift leash, just a simple thin rope.

"You have a cute dog" I commented as I brushed past. He smiled kindly and thanked me. When I came out he was gone.

Last week I was walking between the buildings at work and he came up with one of our stuffed animals in his hand.

"This was about to fly away" He handed it to me. It was a very windy day and the cute little thing must have escaped the sales table in front of the store. "I was wondering if you have any thread"

"Dread?" So I'm a little hard of hearing. Why did I think a man would be asking if we had dread? Because I'm a dork, that's why.

"No. Thread. I need it for my sleeping bag."

Oh. I managed to mumble a few words about going to check. It was a chilly morning. It had been downright cold the night before. A night I relished because I was going to chow down on chicken noodle soup and wear fuzzy socks and sleep in a comfy bed. But this poor man and his adorable dog were sleeping somewhere on the ground in a sleeping bad that needed mending. My heart broke. I rushed around the store, rummaging through drawers in search of a sewing kit. I prayed I would find it, that in some small way I could be a blessing to this man. My search was in vain. In a store full of trinkets and treasures, I couldn't find a homeless man some thread. I went back outside where he and his dog were patiently waiting to tell him the news. He smiled and thanked me, and said he thought he might be able to find some at the dollar store up the road.

I thought about him all day. Why didn't I give him some money, offer to buy him a new sleeping bag? What's wrong with me?

Later on that week I saw him and his dog walking by McDonald's. In a split second I thought about stopping and going and buying him some lunch. I thought about how I would tell him God loves him and knows him by name. But I kept driving by. What's wrong with me?

I watched a movie last night where one of the characters was a deeply compassionate person. She felt every hurt of the people around her as if they were her own. Another character noted that her own father felt no emotion and if she had the choice between the two, she choose to feel it all. It made me think about how little I am sometimes moved, and how that is changing. I want to feel more.

I saw a teenage girl at a little fast food place I stopped at the other day and as I watched her the thought occurred to me that God loved her very much. And for a moment I entertained the notion of going up to her and telling her that God loved her and knew her by name. But I never went over there. You may think I'm silly for even thinking I should do that. But in that moment my heart felt very tender for that girl. I knew nothing about her, about the day she was having or what her life's circumstances were, but I knew in that moment that God wanted her to know she was loved and known by him. And I missed my chance to tell her so.

Sara Groves quoted Gary Haugen of the International Justice Mission in that documentary I watched not too long ago. I've been pondering those words lately. "In the times of the crushing of the innocent, in times of great despair, I used to ask 'Where is God?' But now my plea has changed. I no longer ask 'Where is God?' but 'Where are God's people?" Sara said that she decided the next time she wanted to run not walk to help her neighbors who were hurting.

There is something stirring inside me to do the same.

God of mercy and compassion, help me to Go. Cleanse me of self-absorption, fear and apathy. Wash me with your love, mercy and compassion, with your sense of justice, and then let me pour it out on the least of these. Forgive me for not doing so sooner. Amen.

Caffeinated Randomness: It's Sort of Like the Trials of Job Only Not So Much

Somehow my email got hacked last night and I supposedly sent make money with google emails to random email addresses. I woke up this morning to about 10 times more emails than I usually have and thought something I must have said on this blog or on Facebook really struck a chord with people in the middle of the night. Alas, I was wrong. I'm just glad that the peeps in my address book didn't get weird emails. That I know of (at least my sent box didn't show anything like that).

Anyways.

This has been a superweird week. Coming off the high of The. Best. Concert. Ever. my friend Rachel and I treated ourselves to some retail therapy the next day. All was well (really good sales and some cute stuff) until late afternoon in a dressing room. I do not know how this happened except that I am getting old but somehow trying on clothes I pulled a muscle in my back. It was the kind of pain that almost makes you scream and cry at the same time but, hello, I am in a public place and the spotlight is not one of my favorite places to be. I walked gingerly out of the store and to Rachel telling her I didn't know what I did but I really hurt my back. All I could think of was what kind of prescription pain killer did my parents have stocked at home that would rid me of this pain. So shopping fun was over. For the most part.

I was in lots of pain (and doped up with fun drugs!) for the next couple days. It was so not cool. I have never done anything like that to my back at all. It started feeling better late Tuesday and by Wednesday it was just a little pain that shows up mostly when I have to sit straight in a hard chair. So I don't do that if I don't have to.

Then Wednesday was my day off because I am working Saturday. I purposed to make it a lazy hang around the house day. I wrote some articles and did some long overdue bible study homework (two things I couldn't do when I was in so much pain from the back incident). I had a headache which I assumed was sinus or allergy related because my eye was kind of irritated too. By evening I decided to take my contacts out (because maybe they were the cause of the irritation, don't ask me why I didn't think of this before) and my right eye was really red. Usually when I take the contact out relief comes instantly. Not the case this time. It felt like something horrible was still in my eye and it hurt. I nursed it with eyedrops and went to bed. When I woke up in the middle of the night with my eye still bothering me I got up for more eyedrops. I turned on the light in my bathroom and my eye started throbbing like a headache in my eye. It was the strangest feeling and I knew this wasn't just contact irritation.

The next morning I went to see my eye doctor and found out I had a bacterial ulcer. In my eye. Doesn't that sound lovely? When I texted the bff all she could text back was EWWWW! My eye is really red and swollen and I have to put a very expensive eye drop antibiotic in my eye every two hours. And no contacts for several days. And no more sleeping in my contacts either, apparently, since they trapped the bacteria in my eye overnight and caused this whole debacle.

Anyways. How was your week? Oh, and if my adding is correct this is my 200th post. Aren't you glad I used it to tell you of all my maladies? It's way better than a giveaway or 200 awesome things about me, surely?

For less pain filled caffeinated randomness, check out Andrea's blog.

Random Dozen #8

I am really starting to like this Random Dozen thing. I love telling you all more than you ever wanted to know about my views on candy, childhood and vegetarianism. So without further adieu.

1. Candy corn: Your thoughts?
Candy corn is one of my favorite autumn candies. Particularly the jelly belly brand of candy corn. We used to carry it at the store I work in and I may have been the main purchaser of said product.


2. Briefly, what was the first conversation you ever had with your spouse? (or best friend, if you're not married.) (Or someone significant, like your librarian.)
Since I'm not married yet I will go with my bff, Rachel. I met her a little over 10 years ago in the youth group at my church. I was a leader and she was a student. She was telling me about going to a concert and how the lead singer of a certain no longer together christian group had flirted with her. Knowing that this guy was married I told her she was mistaken there was no way he was flirting with her, a sixteen year old. She adamantly defended herself. I adamantly argued this man's (whom I've never met by the way) defense. We've been arguing our points ever since. But we've never once been in a fight. That's just how we roll. And this weekend after the Needtobreathe concert I brought up this previous concert with the flirting lead singer. She still adamantly holds to her position. Oh well.


3. Could you ever become a vegetarian?
Probably not. My mom thinks she could. But I really like beef and chicken a little too much to give them up. If I had to I guess I could. And technically the question is could you, so yes. I could. But would I? No.


4. Have you ever dressed up your pet in a costume?
Yes. Once. At our store we had a doggy costume party about seven years ago on Halloween. I dressed Phoebe (my pug) as a lady bug. Absolutely adorable. And she was not a fan of the dress up. So I have not done it since. But I have one adorable pic of it. So cute.

5. Name something about childhood that you miss (like Clark Bars, Teaberry Gum, Malibu Barbie, cracking fake eggs on people's heads with your fist and "It's the Great Pumpkin" airing only once a year).
I would have gone with It's The Great Pumpkin, but that made me think of another treasure from childhood that I dearly miss and that is Mickey's Christmas Carol. It was one of my favorite cartoons at Christmas time. I saw it on Youtube last year but it's just not the same as watching it as a child.

6. Have you ever won a trophy? If not, what do you deserve a trophy for?
I think I got a trophy (or was it a medal?) for coming in 4th place in a spelling bee. But I really deserve a trophy for best sleeper. I am really really good at it.

7. When do you think is the appropriate time to begin playing Christmas music each year?
I really answered this on Facebook yesterday when I proclaimed that I started to listen to Christmas tunes this week. But really I think it's better to wait until after Halloween. Even if I break that rule every year.


8. What's your favorite board game?
Life.

9. How do you feel about surprises (receiving, not giving)?
If it's a really good surprise I love it, but since I am a planner and a control freak, most of the time I don't like them. And it seems that it is hard to surprise me. The control freak in me tends to investigate and find things out before people can surprise me.


10. Is it easy for you to say, "I'm sorry?"
It's harder for me to say I'm wrong that to say I'm sorry. Both are similar but I can say I'm sorry ten times more easily and more often than to say I was wrong. I hate being wrong.

11. What is your favorite candle scent?
Anything all autumny like Mulled Cider or Warm Apple Pie or Pumpkin Spice. I love autumnal scents.

12. October is traditionally "open house" time in public schools. If you had a literal open house in your home (like a reception) what light snacks would you serve visitors and what would you show them (as in art projects, graded papers) that would uniquely represent you?
Light snacks would be tv trash (my Nanny's recipe) and Neiman Marcus Squares (my mom's signature sweet treat). I would show off my bulletin board as something that is uniquely me. It has photos from different stages of my life as well as scripture verses that have meant a lot to me over the years. It feels like me on a 2'X2' square.

There's more Random Dozen here.

As Predicted...

It most definitely was THE. BEST. CONCERT. EVER.

I was waiting to post until Rachel emailed me the pics from the concert but I can wait no longer. So imagine if you will a couple of cool pics of the concert with its awesome lite brite like background (which is way more awesome than I can describe) with five of the best musicians ever on stage. Then imagine me grinning way bigger than I should ever be allowed when I got the chance to get a pic together with Bo, the guitarist and brother to lead singer Bear. Then imagine an equally ecstatic Rachel (whom you've probably never seen so if you don't know her that will be a bit harder) grinning next to Bear in her photo. Those are the pics I was going to post. Now you know.

Anyways. Did I mention it was awesome?

Matthew Mayfield was sick with the flu (the bad kind, Bear said) so he wasn't there to perform. Which made me a little sad, but only a little because I was all about seeing Needtobreathe. Serena Ryder, the opening act, was cool. She opened the show with a rockin' acapella song that I was just in awe of because who has the guts to actually do that? She has a voice that I tried to describe to my sister as being a cross between Adele, Alanis Morrissette and Melissa Etheredge. But on second thought I would add Jewel and Janis Joplin to the mix. Which I know is a crazy mix. But she does sound like that. It was awesome. And my pitifully poor vocabulary will probably continue to use awesome throughout the rest of this post. Get used to it.

Needtobreathe sang just about every song I hoped they would. My favorites from their new album The Outsiders, the best from The Heat, a superawesome Tom Petty cover, check, check, check. And just as I hoped Bo sang I Won't Turn Back, which they ended with a refrain from a Coldplay song (when I told Bo after the show that I loved that he did that song and that they added Coldplay to it, he thanked me and called it Bluegrass Coldplay, which I would have to agree with, and it was awesome!). They ended the show with a completely unplugged (mics and all) version of Something Beautiful. Ya'll. I cannot even begin to describe how amazing this was. Amazing. Of course, Bear had to stop it halfway through the first chorus because the audience was singing along and he couldn't sing over us. But come on. When you're doing this completely unplugged you need your quiet! It was worth it. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. I told my sister after the show that when they come to Austin (or San Antonio) I am coming down and we are going to see them and she will fall in love with them. Oh yes. She will.

Afterwards I did what I normally never do and that was wait around to talk to them. I am an admire people from a distance kind of person. I don't like the whole autograph thing, I don't like gushing over people (because I so like to maintain an air of cool indifference). But this time I totally had to do it. So we waited (and after being on her feet for three hours in heels my bff had totally earned best best friend of the year award for staying after) for the crowd to drift out and we went over and talked to Bo and Bear. And took pics. I was beyond delighted. And it ignited an already there crush on them. Bear talked to us about football and their weird travel schedule and if we were driving three hours home that night. Bo and I talked about bluegrass Coldplay as I mentioned before. It was awesome. Know now that each and every time I go to a Needtobreathe show, I will be talking to these down-to-earth and awesome guys. My air of cool indifference is totally blown.

And in case you're wondering if my opinion of the show is totally clouded by my insane love for these guys, check out what they put on twitter later that evening:

"Phenomenal show in Tulsa tonight! Can't believe it's only the second time we've played there. Ya'll just earned another visit. More than OK...especially that Kara with a K who rocked it as the best fan ever singing all of our songs (from her place behind really tall dudes in the audience) including the Tom Petty cover of You Wreck Me which no one else seemed to know in the audience but whatever, she is forever our favorite fan. "

Okay, maybe not that last part. But the phenomenal show part was right. If you have the chance you should see these guys live. Because you know what? They are awesome.

In the next post I will tell you all about the rest of my weekend with the bff. There are some other great stories to tell that don't involve Needtobreathe. And they are awesome too.

Just So You Know I've Already Formulated A Post In My Head Titled The. Best. Concert. Ever.

Because I know it will be.

Tonight my best friend Rachel and I are going to Tulsa to see Needtobreathe in concert. In preparation for this event I may or may not have poured over live concert videos on Youtube of Needtobreathe. I am in awe already. I cannot wait. Everybody says they are incredible live and from what I see from shaky amateur videos I believe it. And if figuring out how to post videos in my blog was something I could do this morning I would post a few so you could get a taste too. They are incredible. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.

I have lamented all week over what to wear. It's supposed to be a little chilly and I am kinda cold natured, but don't you think the venue will be hot with all the people (not to mention my anticipation of the best. concert. ever.)? I so do not want to be holding a jacket while singing at the top of my lungs so that the dude next to me recording on his iPhone will be able to forever memorialize his favorite song with the best background singer ever (yours truly). These are the things that woke me up at 5:30 am (I tell you it felt like Christmas this morning, I couldn't go back to sleep!).

The bad news is the shopping part of my weekend getaway is the day after the concert. I know I will get to the mall or Target and find the perfect outfit and be sorta sad I didn't have it on the night before. Regrets, people. They stink.

In my perusing Youtube I found a video from last weekend (which is why I love Youtube so much, how else can I figure out which songs are in rotation on The Outsiders Live tour?) I found that one of my favorite (out of like 10) songs from their latest record is being performed by Bo, the brother of lead singer Bear. I cannot tell you how much I want them to do this version at my concert tonight (do you like how I have taken possession of this concert, it has now become mine). The song is called Won't Turn Back and it has a vulnerable quality that perfectly matches Bo's voice. Not that I am obsessed enough with these guys to actually analyze their voices for such things. No, not me.

I am also really pumped to have some fun time with my bff. We have only been planning a getaway for about a year and a half. Rachel even tried to find tickets to a Sara Groves concert for me last Christmas to no avail. That girl gets me. I can't wait to chill out and eat good food and listen to awesome music from the best. concert. ever. with her.

In other weekend news when I get back home my mom and I intend to go see Where The Wild Things Are. Everytime I see the trailer with the Arcade Fire song on it I get so excited I cannot even stand it. Surely it isn't strange that I like kid's movies?

So what are your plans for the weekend? Let the Wild Rumpus start!!!!

Random Dozen: #7 For the Regulars But I'm a Late Bloomer so It's my First One

I have enjoyed reading these from Rachel at Musings of a Future Pastor's Wife and on 2nd Cup of Coffee and I decided to join in. One day late. Because I didn't want to come across as too eager a follower. Or something like that. Whatever. Here they go:

1. I've always wondered why we were taught both printing and cursive. Do you prefer to print or write cursive? (Keyboard is not a choice.)
I am old school so I prefer cursive. But this is also probably because I am superb in my cursive and therefore it is all about vanity for me. Nothing like a little truth telling on my Thursday morn. I also rock with print too, but my cursive is especially beautiful.

2. Are you a dreamer or a realist?
I am a realist who moonlights as a dreamer.

3. Billy Joel or Elton John?
I went to my iTunes for the answer. iTunes was no help, I have 4 songs from both of them. So then I checked out the play count. Billy wins hands down. Who knew?

4. What is the scariest movie you've ever seen? Not just horror flicks but also ones where the tension or suspense is killer, for example, Flightplan (2005): A bereaved woman and her daughter are flying home from Berlin to America. At 30,000 feet the child vanishes and nobody admits she was ever on that plan.

I did see Flightplan, I agree it doesn't count. But man (spoiler alert!) can Peter Sarsgaard play a creepy dude. Anyways. I'm gonna go with The Shining. I watched it in college on Halloween night with a bunch of my BSU friends after our weekly worship service (because nothing says appropriate horror movie setting like post worship service time). I wasn't scared whilst watching the Jack Nicholson creepy psychological movie, it was after. Like 2 hours after while I'm trying to sleep in my dorm room and all I can think of is redrum redrum. Gives me the creeps right now just remembering it.

And just for the record, I don't watch scary movies anymore. Unless Disney's Halloween Treat and the Disney version of Legends of Sleepy Hollow count. In which case, oh well.

5. Now what is the scariest real-life moment you've had?

A year ago on the Fourth of July we were on my uncle's pontoon boat coming back from a fireworks show on the lake. People were not supposed to be driving their boats fast and making waves but they totally were. My sister and I were in the front of the boat and we hit a wave and the boat dipped at the front and water came rushing in knocking my sister and I out of our seats and toward the sinking part of the boat. I thought in that moment I was going to die. Literally. It was just a second but I was terrified. Thankfully my aunt and uncle are masters of calm in the midst of chaos and they helped us get to the back of the boat. It was insane. The boat didn't sink. My mom will not go back on said boat, but we are alive.

6. What word do you misspell without fail?

Poltergeist. Ever since the 4th grade when I misspelled it for the spelling bee. I got fourth place. Still stings a little.

7. Name something you like to do but are not really talented or good at?

Piano playing. I should take lessons.

8. Do you get your emotional/mental batteries recharged by being around people or by having alone time?

Alone time. I am an introvert (but at times I play an extrovert on this blog) and I need my alone time.

9. Have you ever been on TV?

Yes. At least in our region. We make commercials for my store and I've been in some of them. Also (another work related event) we had a doggy costume party and one of the local new stations came out for some footage. Yours truly landed on the 6 o'clock news. Yay me! It was only precious when this six year old boy from church ran up to me the next Sunday and said, "I saw you on tv with that daw-ag" (in his best okie hick accent, it was precious).

10. Apple or pumpkin pie? (Don't be greedy.)
Definitely apple. I love pumpkin cheesecake though.

11. How many magazine subscriptions do you have?
Just one. Everyday with Rachel Ray. In the past I have also had subscriptions to CCM (back in my college days) and Weight Watchers magazine. I would love to have subscription to Entertainment Weekly, if only to feed my need for trivial entertainment information.

12. What lesson do you have to keep re-learning?
I am lousy at being in control of my life (and everyone elses).

For more delightful random dozens, you can go to 2nd cup of coffee.

Yea Though I Walk Through The Valley of Unanswered Questions

I've never been really good with hearing no. I like saying it, but I don't like it being said to me. It's a rejection every time. No you can't have this, no you can't do that, no no no. It stinks. But recently I've come to find that the definite answer of no is better than the answers that just don't come at all.

I was hashing (re-hashing perhaps) out all these feelings with God this morning. Why this circumstance hasn't changed and why this scenario never took place. Why I didn't have this and why He hadn't done that particular thing in my life. What's sad is it is the longest conversation I've had with God in a few weeks. And all I did was gripe. It's what was in my heart, ya'll. But it had to come out, I had to air my supposed grievances because they were eating me up inside.

Have you ever been there?

Truth is, I have felt stuck. Stuck with these unresolved issues in my heart, stuck wondering with the why's and why not's. And my relationship with God has taken a beating. I don't spend time with Him because He's not answering me on these issues. I don't much feel like praising Him or praying or studying His word either. And as some of you may know, when my relationship with God is broken so is a lot of the rest of my life. So I've just been in this stalemate with God and with life and nothing is moving.

Stuck.

After praying I headed downstairs to iron my clothes and get ready for work. My side of the conversation with God was over and I was carrying on with my day. Another depressing day. As I was ironing I felt God speak to my soul.

I wasn't expecting that.

Can you be okay with not knowing, with perhaps never knowing why these things are the way they are and why I haven't done things a certain way. Because you can't move on without accepting this is the way it is.

I had to think about that a minute. Could I deal with unanswered, unresolved issues? Could I make peace with the fact that I may never understand the why's and why not's? I made a decision in the laundry room this morning. I'm going to, no, I have to, trust God with these things. These things I don't understand, don't like, and often struggle with. I have to believe He is so much bigger than my vision of my life. I have to decide that come what may His plans are good, because He is good. That isn't an easy thing to write, much less live.

But I'm moving on from this valley. I'm tired of wasting time here. I'm letting go of what if's and why not's to take hold of a hand of the One who has never left my side.

It's going to be okay.

Reason 334 Why My Mom Rocks

Last night my mom announced to my dad we were going to a wedding on Thursday. When my dad started the whole you two may be going to a wedding but I'm not going to a wedding and whose wedding is it anyway, my mom told him it was Jim and Pam's. As in Jim and Pam from The Office. And yes, we are having wedding cake. My dad thinks we're ridiculous. I think we're awesome.

The real question is, should we dress up?

Thoughts?

All Things Autumny

I am wearing my "It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown" t-shirt. I think I might wear it every weekend in October, just because.

Today the new issue of Exemplify released and it is all about the wonders of autumn. I have to tell you I had lots of fun writing the article for October. It made me want to jump in a big old pile of leaves, you know, if there had been any in August. When I wrote it. Here is the link

My mom is making chicken noodle soup from scratch today. Tomorrow's high is only going to be in the low 60s. I noticed a few trees are starting to turn a certain reddish gold hue. All these things make me gush with delight.

So I thought a little Autumn quiz is in order. Which scent of Autumn am I? Well, glad you asked:

You Are Crisp Autumn Morning Air

You love to feel alive and awake. For you, fall is somewhat of a rebirth. Even though autumn brings some death, it always makes you feel vibrant and excited. Something about cooler days, longer nights, and changing leaves deeply touches you. You feel motivated and driven in the fall. You feel like you can start over and be whoever you want to be.

What Autumn Smell Are You?

Blogthings: A Fine Line Between Insight and Stupidity

Ode to October

Oh Happy first day of October, how you delight me so. You brim with possibility, you swell with the delight of Autumn. You make me feel downright joyful! And you're raining. You so know how to get on my good side. I know you hold a lot in store for me October. Nice weather, good football, great tv, the best concert ever, a girl's getaway with my bff, chocolate marshmallow pumpkins, pumpkin bread (if my friend Sharon will ever make it!).

I think you are my favorite 1st of the month (aside from January, but come on, it has it's own holiday!). You bring me the wedding of Jim and Pam (October 8th Office Fans, mark your calendar or RSVP or something). You bring me the OU-Texas game (which is totally going to go in Texas' favor). You bring me my friend Renee from the far away land of Florida. You bring me Needtobreathe live from the faraway land of awesome music. You bring me a chance to watch Disney's Halloween Treat on Youtube again. And who could forget It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown.

October, you flat out rock. I'm looking forward to spending some quality time with you. Maybe we could hold hands on a chilly Saturday and stroll through a park or something. Call me.