The Beach, it's calling my name...

So away we go....

For the first time in nine years my family (dad, mom, sister and I) are going on a real and true vacation. Last year Jenna and I went to Port Aransas for a few days and loved it. This year we were planning for the four of us to go to New York City for a Navy Submarine reunion for my dad, but plans changed. We were bummed. We got over it. We picked the beach instead. Now we're happy.

Dad and Jenna are planning to go deep sea fishing one day. Mom and I will go see the Southern Living Idea House and maybe go to the botanical gardens in Corpus Christi. We all definitely plan on spending ample time under the sun on the beach. And I will frolic (yes frolic!) in the ocean. Me and water? Total bff's. I might even get a tan. Or I might bathe in SPF 70 and keep telling myself pale is the new tan, pale is the new tan.

It has been a difficult week or two here lately. Why does all the crazy, sad, weird stuff all happen at once? One friend from church was attacked by a couple of large dogs and thrown into a ditch shattering her leg and breaking her wrist. She may never work again and will be in a wheelchair for at least three months. Another friend I know is getting a divorce after fighting for her marriage for the last several months. And from the world of facebook friends I learned of an old college classmate who fell out of the back of a pickup truck and was badly injured. One of my Aunt's cousins was in a horrible car accident. I could go on but I really don't want to depress you any longer. Needless to say it's been a week of prayer and burden bearing.

I'm ready for that vacation.

I'm a little sad that the condo my sister booked does not have internet access. So my appearances here might be a little scattered. But I am sure when I get back I will have lots of stories to tell and pictures to post. I know you can barely contain your excitement.

What He's Speaking to Me Today...

And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life.
1 Corinthians 7:17a The Message

So what is He speaking to you?

I Do So Love a Good Weekend

After last weekends nutty busyness (what most people would just call a normal weekend) I am looking forward to a little more lazy weekend now. Today I plan to enjoy a whole lotta nothing and a movie to boot. Tomorrow I'm taking my dad to lunch and a movie (movies make a boring weekend even better in my opinion). I might get caught up on my Netflix movies and send some back before going on vacation (seven more days, seven more days!!!). I may cave and watch one of my guilty pleasures, Bridezillas (and by admitting that I am completely and utterly embarassed, but those girls always make me feel less bossy and control freakish. Every. time.)Overall, the plan is be boring. Enjoy doing nothing. You know, just my style (my sister is probably cringing as she reads this, she is all swirly whirly activity. I love her, but we are night and day, and we have the facebook quiz results to prove it!).

I have had a wonderful week of God showing me that He is able to work all things out for the good of those who love him and live according to his purpose (holla, Romans 8:28) Without any help from me even! Can you just imagine? But He did. That's my God. Praise Him, praise Him!

On a completely related note, I am beyond excited to see what God is going to do next in my little church. Things are really starting to happen and I am blessed and humbled just be in the midst of it while God is doing His thing. For the first time in a long time, I'm really excited about church tomorrow. That's a confession I didn't expect to make on a random weekend happenings post, but I just did. It may be especially scandalous since I'm also in leadership at my church, but sometimes transparency is good. I'm excited. And I really don't think God will disappoint. Like I said, He's really doing something new at our church.

Happy Weekend All!

What If?

What if Abraham had decided to just stay in Ur and not follow God to the promised land?

What if Jacob figured he had a good thing working for Laban and just decided to stay put?

What if Joseph ignored the Pharoah's cupbearer and chief baker when they had strange dreams in prison never telling them what those dreams meant, what if he didn't choose to forgive his brothers and bring them down to Egypt during the famine?

What if Ruth had gone back to her people and let Naomi go back to hers?

What if David cowered at Goliath like the rest of the Israelite army?

What if Esther had decided to take comfort in the position of queen and just sit back and let Haman get away with his evil plan to destroy the Hebrew people?

What if Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego had bowed?

What if James and John decided to keep on fishing, rather than follow Jesus?

What if the woman with the issue of blood didn't press in close and reach out and touch the hem of Jesus' robe?

What if Zaccheus never got up into that tree?

What if Peter decided his denial of Jesus was too big of a sin to be forgiven and just went back to being a fisherman?

When we're standing at just another old crossroad, what if we don't trust God and take that next step?

A Lately Prayer

God open wide my heart.

For so long I've kept it closed up tight, out of fear, out of laziness, out of desire for my own comfort. But things are changing. You're changing me and I can't really stay the same. I realize my need not only for receiving love but to give love as well. To love deeply, sincerely, passionately, fiercely and purely. To let others love me and to let Your love shape me into the woman you've always intended me to be. For the first time in a long time I feel like I'm longing for the same things you long for in me. Forgive me for be stubborn, shallow and selfish. How many times will I go round and round with you on this? How many times will you gently remind me? God your mercy astounds me.

I need to be washed clean from all these things that have been laying around in my heart. First this need to control everything and everybody. I'm starting to figure out it doesn't work, it's just an exercise in futility. And jealousy. I'm sick of letting jealousy rob me of joy for others in their triumphs. And fear. Being afraid of failure, afraid of rejection, afraid of being wrong, afraid of what people might say or think about me.

I love the fresh and new that you bring. I need it now Lord. I need a refreshing drink of today's new mercies. I need you Lord. Help me to trust you right now, because a lot of what I'm experiencing and feeling is uncertain and weird and difficult, Lord, it's just difficult.

I need you Lord.

With all that I am laid before you, Amen

Things That Have Taken Me 32 Years to Figure Out

"I am a genius about some things and other things very stupid." Michael Scott

I have never considered myself a slow learner. But as I get older, like they always say, I have come realize how little I really know. However I am figuring some things out. And after the wretchedly awful day I've had, I thought it would be nice to spew some of them out right here. You know, for posterity or something. Here goes:


You really can't control anybody else's actions, reactions, or tongues. Only your own. And that is a feat in and of itself.

Kindness matters. A lot.

People are going to break your heart, and sometimes they won't even realize they've done it. And that's okay.

Hearts do heal. But it may take time. And sometimes that is harder than the original breaking.

Jesus was right. No one can add a single hour to their life by worrying.

Control freaks are usually not very in control of a lot of things internally which is why they like to control a lot of things externally. I know, I'm one of them.

Being yourself is hard to do when you don't really know yourself.
Oh and it can take 32 years or longer to figure out who you are, maybe longer, but I'll have to get back to you on that one.

The ability to laugh at yourself is one of the greatest abilities to have, and it must be fine tuned over time.

Even if you think God must get tired of hearing it, it's okay to ask him to forgive that sin. Again.

It's okay to start over. Even the 79th time. We can't outdo God's grace and mercy no matter how hard we try.

Some people are going to emotionally wear you out. And even if you love them, sometimes its best to have some healthy boundaries with them. It's okay. Really.

Some of the things you hold on for dear life to are the very things you really need to let go of. But try telling a control freak that.

God's timing is impeccably perfect. And that will drive you nuts more times than you know.

A lot of times when you think you are waiting on God's timing, He may just be waiting on you.

A lot of the things that seem like a big deal, really, really aren't.

But these things are: family, health, love, your relationship with God.

Oh Summer, Slow Down Please?

I like a simple life. I'm fine with being a homebody, having not much more to do than garden, watch tv and peruse blogs and facebook. I might take the occasional trip to Dallas or Oklahoma City for a little fun. I won't turn down an invitation to dinner on any night of the week (as long as it doesn't interfere with LOST, ahem). I just don't do busy. But that's just what I've had over the last several days. Between birthday parties, church events, graduation parties, wedding receptions and bridal showers, this girl is tuckered out! The homebody in me is crying out for a whole lotta nothing for the next several days. This weekend was crazy busy.

Thursday night we celebrated a birthday of a friend of mine at a favorite mexican restaurant (the one where I donned a sombrero while seranaded by my friends last month) here in town. One of Brandi's friends made her a birthday cake from scratch. From scratch, people! While I am still being a semi-good weight watchers girl, I did partake. And I'm still on a sugar high, in case you were wondering.

Friday night our ladies group at church had a Oklahoma luau (what, you've never heard of one of those?) at our pastor's home to celebrate our high school graduates. They have a beautiful backyard with a swimming pool and lots of shade, but nonetheless it was stiffingly hot. But the pineapple was yummy.

Saturday I got lots of gardening done (because this homebody loves her garden!) in the morning before the heat caught up with me and I went to lunch with my parents at one of my favorite burger places here in town. I've decided than despite my commitment to weight loss and good health no matter what I will not forsake the Hamburger Inn, it's delicious fried onion burgers, hand cut fries or chocolate meringue pie. Never. Even if it's just in small doses of awesome.

That evening we went to the graduation party/sendoff to the Marines of the son of one of my mom's dearest friends. More food, more people, not any heat (a/c how I love you!). We listened as Drew's parents, friends and loved ones told stories and sang songs (his brother-in-law Steve is quite the musician, and until you've heard lyrical poetry detailing leg cramps, shooting guns and playing drums, well you just haven't lived). There is nothing sweeter than a family that is so devoted to each other as this family is. They blessed my heart so much.

Yesterday after church we had a fellowship/reception for a lady in our church who eloped a couple weeks ago. She is a divorced middle aged woman and God finally brought her the love of her life and she just couldn't wait to spend hers with him so on a random Thursday they went and got hitched. We wanted to do something for them so the ladies in the church found a bakery and got a beautiful wedding and grooms cake made and we had a reception for them. Ziral and Robert give this old single girl hope.

After the reception my mom and I had to speed on over to a fun little shower/pool party at my bosses mom's house for a girl who used to work with us. Sara got back last year from a mission/teaching trip in China and now is getting married to another man who also did mission stuff in China too. It was fun to sit back poolside and talk with some of my favorite people (my co-workers, past and present) about all things life and love.

So it was a crazy busy weekend, but it was full of people I love and lots of fun. Just don't ask me to go anywhere tonight, okay?

Word to the Wise-ish

Oh how I need this word today:

Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

~ Romans 12:16, NLT

Let's See Who Wins the Prize For Answering the Following...

Is it wrong that I'm already behind on my read the bible in 90 days summer challenge--and it just started yesterday?

Is it wrong that I'm proud of myself for losing 4 lbs this week-- and that's exactly how much I gained last week?

Is it wrong that I really really miss my tv viewing schedule-- and the season just ended a few weeks ago?

Is it wrong that I already had breakfast and am getting ready to eat a bagel-- and I'm thinking of implenting second breakfast as a regular way of life?

Is it wrong that I wanted to post something today-- and this is all I could come up with writing?